The Steelers are favored big to beat Miami on MNF tonight and some fans/critics won’t be satisfied if it is anything but a blowout. With the Steelers getting back on track in LA and the conference struggling, Many more questions have arisen now that the Steelers have returned from the bye week. With that being typed, will James Conner ever start to shine running the ball? Will the line open holes for him? Will Mason Rudolph come back woozy after the concussion? Can JuJu strap this team to his back? Can the defense continue their dominance without Stephon Tuitt?
With these questions, story lines, and more, I’ve compiled a list of predictions (some basic, and some utterly idiotic) to look for in this prime time contest:
- Antonio Brown shows up to the game in full Dolphins uniform and after realizing that they are #tankingfortua…immediately demands a trade. Dolphins General Manager Chris Grier in a twist of Brant and Leland in the 1996 episode of Seinfeld, “The Bizarro Jerry”, responds “You don’t even really work here” and “cuts” AB immediately.
- James Conner rushes 20 times for 70 yards on the night, but adds another 60 on receptions. Nobody on the Steelers staff seem concerned about No. 30 and the line.
- JuJu Smith-Schuster scores a second-quarter TD and celebrates the score and the 52nd birthday of Julia Roberts by reenacting the “slamming the jewelry box” scene from Pretty Woman with Ramon Foster.
- With no Kenyan Drake, due to his being dealt to the Cardinals, the Steelers only allow 39 yards on the ground to the Dolphins.
- DeVante Parker asks to stay in Pittsburgh with his whole team getting dealt. The Dolphins deny the request because they don’t need 137 draft picks next year, they are content with their 135.
- With the Jets falling to Jacksonville yesterday, Le’Veon Bell Jet skis to Pittsburgh to perform his hip-hop mashup of The Human League’s “Don’t You Want Me?” and the Jackson Five’s “I Want You Back” while standing on the back of a 1979 black/gold pinto owned by a yinzer named Smitty at his cousin Barry’s tailgate party.
- Cam Sutton records another interception, while Bud Dupree gets a strip sack and a score.
- Mason Rudolph has a solid stat line with two TDs, an interception, 270 yards and starts gaining momentum in downfield throws. But some fans still call for Devlin Hodges.
- The Steelers will beat the Dolphins, but not to the extent you’d think. 27-10
Will any of this actually happen? I’ll bet at least one or two. Heck, maybe every one of them. Be sure to post your predictions — basic or bizarre — below.